A basic habit I have inherited from Grandma Nanny is noticing an article, a name or location, or possibly an insight and immediately thinking of others. Probably you if you are reading this entry. That's only the beginning. The next step is likely a forward. Sending it on as a link and a message without asking first. "Hey, would this "actually" be interest to you?" I imagine that sort of question would lead to conversation, probably awkward at first, that would ultimately end with "no thank you". Fortunately, Grandma lived in a simpler time and was from a generation that didn't have to consider digital etiquette. She showed care in her own way, demonstrating a desire to connect and doing it on her terms.
Her love, care, and trust for others always seemed to keep her in the moment. Of course, I was young and never really around for the serious "adult" conversations that needed to be made regarding matters that come up when people get older. Planning ahead has benefits, but being PRESENT was the real gift. Grandparents are good for exactly that, right? They love. They play games. They give gifts that are, hopefully, within their means.
That's what Grandma Mary did.
Games were regular when I was younger. Chutes and ladders, Sorry-Aggravation-Trouble, or card games like Go Fish! and War.
She would send cards. These cards would be from all kinds of places, getting more discount-y as time stretched on and family knew her tendencies. Also, there would be a recycled-card bin in the housing. Those cards were regular and filled with multiple surprises. They would certainly be "From Whiskers, Too!" The articles, pictures, and other clippings let me know: "Hey, I am thinking of you."
If she was ever scared or worried, I never knew. She lived simply and simply, lived.
One gift that made a major difference in my life was a CD. She gave it to be at Easter. At the time, it was clear that my interest was in Rap/HipHop. For whatever reasons she had, I received "The Cross Movement: Human Emergency" that year. A defining moment occurred as I started to be more aware of the influences in my life. There were soundtracks I let play in my head, rent free - but causing me to pay a price. It took me a while to fully realize the true gift she was giving. A different way of thinking about music and faith.
Thank you, Grandma, for your many ways of caring. Thank you for paying attention to the details.
I love and miss you.
https://www.lhm.org/dailydevotions/default.asp?date=20241123
https://www.heritagefuneral.com/obituary/mary-jane-spikberg/
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